CHINESE FOOD

So, there is something you need to know. If you think American Chinese food is anything like Chinese Chinese food, you have been misinformed. Incredibly. Horribly. However, there is hope. You can continue to read this post, and I can set the record straight.

CHINESE FOOD will be an ongoing posting topic, but this will be the introduction to the foodstuffs of Chinese awesomeness. So, how do I introduce a cuisine so multifarious, so delicious, so FRIGGIN' GOOD? I'll do it the only way I know how. I'm starting with the basics. And by basics, I mean what I lived off of for the first two weeks I was in China.

JIAOZI

So, Chinese dumplings are WAYYYY better than American Chinese food dumplings. For one thing, there are approximately a million varieties of Chinese dumplings, whereas the American counterpart has, bascially, vegetarian dumplings and pork dumplings, the end. In China, they have egg and mushroom, egg and spinach, egg and tofu, tofu and spinach, tofu and anise, anise and egg and mushroom, twenty different types of mushroom...and these are just the vegetarian ones, and only the ones I have tried. The best part? Dumplings are EVERYWHERE, and they are CHEAP AS SIN. I mean, I spend MAYBE 7 yuan on a serving that is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man. That is 1 dollar, in case anyone want the American conversion.

I have also made dumplings. It takes forever, but they are also INCREDIBLY DELICIOUS. Observe:




However, at some point, there is life beyond jiaozi and baozi. I mean, eventually you gotta move on. Well, I mean, you don't really have to. But unfortunately, during chunjie my favorite jiaozi place closed, so I was forced to move on to...

MALATANG

So, I'm gonna get this out there now, I like my food spicy. Like, just this side of painful spicy. Malatang is like my dream food, for that very reason.

Malatang is one of those Chinese foods that is awesome because it is playing with fire. Either the food tastes great, the end, or it ends in food poisoning. It's the Chinese equivalent of Russian Roulette. But hey, if it kills you, what a way to go!

Malatang is spicy, since it is a way of boiling vegetables and meat using a broth of peppercorn sauce and spices. The peppercorn kind of numbs your mouth a bit, which is good because the broth may conceivably kill you by being just THAT spicy.

Don't believe me? Here are some pics that my shed light on the HAWT HAWT HAWT that is malatang:


This is before I unwrap the magnificence of malatang.


This is what it looks like before it gets IN MY BELLY.


This is the sauce/boiling medium. Note the distinctly ORANGE LIKE DANTE'S INFERNO color. This is how you know your mouth may want to disown you after you eat it.

Malatang is godly. But, then, of course, during chunjie that place closed as well. Then my cuisine got a lot less interesting for awhile (ramen noodles anyone?).

However, a constant in any person's life in China is...

MILK TEA

I love bubble tea. China is like my homeland, in that regard. They, also, see the miraculous nature of tapioca in drinkable form, and they pay homage to it by making your very own, instant-coffee style milk tea-in-a-cup. It's almost as good as the stuff you get on the street, but I drink that stuff too quickly to get a photo, so here are some prepackaged ones until I can find my self-control, or bring my camera with me when I buy milk tea.



These are a few of the types they have.


Note the slightly demonic level of glee in my eyes.


So, these are my first few foods I learned about in China. Next up: Baozi, Fangbianmian, and Hongshao Qiezi (and, maybe, ACTUAL milk tea, if it survives long enough to be photographed)